The Sound of the Ocean is Dead.

BK!

Moving haus nau! BRB!

You told me to tell you when I was moving on. This is me moving on. Whilst I will always be there for the child, I cannot be there for you in much the same way that you haven't been for me.

It's almost like an enforced retribution. My mind realised that you as a person don't deserve my support, as shitty as that sounds, and it refuses to allow me to jeopardise myself anymore.

From now, I come first. I put myself into a position whereby I wasn't safe in the knowledge that you would pull through for me. You never did, and my world collapsed around me. I'm slowly pulling myself away from the mire that you allowed me to fall into, except it wasn't your hand that pulled me out of it but my sheer determination not to allow you to destroy me.

You haven't, nor will you have the opportunity to again.

I am has toothache nau kk.

There was a time, once, where I was stupid enough to believe every word you said.

Not now though... Not now.

If I ever manage to clamber out of this pit you left me in, I'd quite like to stay out of it.

Do the math.

I'm bored of this life now, I'd like another one please.

I should have disappeared when I had the chance.

What do you do when problems mount up so high that you just to tear at yourself because your mind is too clouded to think of anything else.

So, you go thru your life flitting from person to person and eventually it hits you. The reason you're alone is because people find it so difficult to lie to you and it's easier feigning friendship from a distance.

My mind is a complex machine comprised of simple parts.

Tomorrow, everything changes. I've become something I despise, and it's happened so slowly I never noticed it. That shell breaks tomorrow.

( At least he'll always make me smile. )

How far do you get before you just accept that you aren't supposed to be happy?

I'm sure I used to be happy. Once.

I'm sick of not mattering. I'm aware that you're the one going thru this, but you will NEVER understand how this feels from my end. All of my problems are suddenly irrelevant to everyone, and have been for the past four months. You're always around people, whether you think they give a shit or not, that contact is so much more than I've ever had. And now you can't even bring yourself to be here to help.

You may *think* you're not safe. But I *know* I'm not. I know that nobody gives enough of a fuck to check up at all. I'm tired of not existing.

Not existing is such an easy thing to do when nobody cares enough to check.